Showing posts with label Bestfriend Stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bestfriend Stuff. Show all posts

Wednesday, 31 July 2019

Here We Go

Here we go again…


Another predictable move from her— bold, if I’m being generous.

Honestly, I knew it was just a matter of time before she spun her tale to anyone with ears and a soft spot for drama.

I’m sure she conveniently skipped the part where she and her little sidekick went out of their way to make me look like a fool.

I bet she left out the juicy details—  the ones where they both tried to rip me off,smiles on their faces, knives behind their backs.

And me?


I was naive enough to believe they were sincere.

That they actually wanted to be my friend.

No games. 

No schemes. 

Just real connection.

Cute, right?

And now she’s back at that old office, weaving her narrative like a well-rehearsed monologue to anyone willing to nod along.

That’s fine.


Let her talk.

I don’t need to defend myself.

I don’t need to explain a damn thing.

Because the truth is simple— If they knew me, really knew me,
they’d know there’s always more to the story.

But if they’re that easy to sway, then maybe they were never really in my corner to begin with.

Let her play her game.


Let them clap for her performance.

She probably thinks that once people start whispering, I’ll get desperate, I’ll break, I’ll pick up the phone and call her.

Joke’s on her.

I wouldn’t call either of them— not in this lifetime, not in a million years.

BYE.


And may the drama keep you warm at night.

Sunday, 14 July 2019

Back Off Please

So guess what?

After more than a blissfully quiet month of no contact, today, one of them suddenly remembers I exist.

“Hey… just wondering if you’re okay? Did we do something wrong?”

Oh wow. The audacity.


Cute how it took 40+ days of silence for them to start guessing something might be off.

Love that delayed reaction—so on brand.

Let me make it super clear:

Yes, we have a problem.

But no, I will not be discussing it.

Why?

Because the only “solution” that actually works for me is you both not existing in my inbox.

And surprise: I’m thriving.

See, I know exactly how this would go if I replied.

I start explaining.

They start analyzing, dissecting, poking, gaslighting—

“Oh you’re too sensitive.”

“That’s not what we meant.”

“You’re overreacting.”

Yeah, no thanks.

Once upon a time, I was that naive little idiot who believed they actually cared.

Believed their smiles weren’t sharpened knives.

But that fairy tale expired—and I’m no longer available for the sequel.

This past month and a half?

Quiet.

Uncluttered.

Deliciously drama-free.

Turns out, peace isn’t overrated.

No fake laughter.

No emotional hangovers after forced hangouts.

No “oh wow, that was exhausting” moments after spending time with them.


Just… me. Breathing. Living. Recovering.

And honestly, if I want to see a movie, try a new café, hop on a train solo— I’d rather do it alone than drag around deadweight energy.

So, let's simplify:


Only two options here.

  1. They vanish from my life forever.

  2. I vanish from theirs.

And since the first one seems like too much work for their attention-starved egos,

I’ll do the honors.

I’m out.

Completely.

Permanently.

Do not text.

Do not call.

Do not “check in.”

Pretend I never existed.

I’m doing the same for you—gladly.

BYE.

May your next manipulation be more subtle.

Tuesday, 9 July 2019

Farewell

Damn it.

I’d already written almost everything I could think of—all the painful, awful, dreadful experiences since I first had the misfortune of knowing you.

But guess what? One misclick and poof, all my notes vanished.


Maybe it’s the universe’s way of saying, “You sure you wanna go there?”

Well… yes, I do.

So I’m writing it all over again. 

This time, no sugarcoating, no filter—just the brutal, unflattering truth.

But before I dive into this horror anthology of my life with you in it, let’s get one thing straight:

I did appreciate you.

I was grateful for your help when I was at my lowest—when you showed up and helped fix a few broken pieces of my life. 

I acknowledged that. 

I still do.

You were one of the very few people I considered my “right hand.”

You knew almost everything about my life.

So you can imagine how gut-wrenching, frustrating, disappointing, and betraying it feels now.

I tried. 

Really, I did.

I tried to believe there was a reason behind all this.

Tried to rationalize, to analyze—to give you the benefit of the doubt.

But the harder I looked for a good reason, the clearer it became: there wasn’t one.

This isn’t about exposing you to anyone else.

I didn’t write this to go public or make drama.

I wrote this to save my own sanity.

Because pretending everything’s fine while bleeding inside? 

That’s no longer on my to-do list.

I genuinely thought you were real. 

That you were sincere.

That I had a loyal companion beside me.

Turns out, I was just a conveniently placed pawn in your little game.

You knew exactly where my weaknesses were—and you weaponized them.

You manipulated me, convinced me to do things… all for your benefit.

I became your personal cash machine.

And the saddest part? 

I didn’t even realize it at first. 

I was too busy trying to be understanding.

Spending that week with you and your entourage? 

Eye-opening doesn’t even begin to cover it.

And me? 

Stupidly stubborn, still trying to justify your actions, still trying to be empathetic.

I kept telling myself: “You’re going through something. 

You’re not doing this on purpose.”

Boy, was I wrong.

Right now, you top my list of the most selfish, egotistical people I’ve ever encountered.

And that list includes people I wouldn’t trust to water my plants.

If I were to list all the sh*t you’ve pulled, it’d take more than just one post.

Let me tell you what I wouldn’t do as someone’s right hand:

I wouldn’t freeload during a sleepover.

I wouldn’t show up empty-handed and expect to be treated like royalty.

I wouldn’t embarrass my host in their own damn neighborhood.

I wouldn’t dump my expenses on them and act like I’m entitled to it.

When you said there was a “great opportunity” and wanted me in—
I assumed we were sharing the risks and the rewards.

Instead, I footed the entire bill while you just showed up to claim half the profit.

How generous of me, right?

I sold the first product and still offered to share the profits.

Then came the second product— Only this time, you didn’t even bother to try selling it.


Worse, you gave it away like it was yours to give.

No discussion. No permission. Just pure audacity.

Then came the lying.

Oh, you really tried it.

Staring me dead in the eye and denying everything when I asked about my missing product.

Only to find out later that night that you’d used it.

Not a trace of guilt. 

Just lies stacked on lies.

And let’s not forget the cherry on top:

You humiliated me in front of your own kids.

Kids who stayed at my place for a whole week without an ounce of respect.

One even had the nerve to say, “We’re guests, so we get the primary bed.”

Oh really? 

Where’s the camera? 

Am I on a hidden prank show?

Then you had the audacity to order me to give each of them an Eid envelope with the exact amount you dictated.

What do you think I am? 

A walking ATM?

Got a money tree in the backyard? 

Or a personal printing press?

Yes, you were there for me once—and I’ll never forget that.

But constantly weaponizing that moment just to guilt-trip me into doing your bidding?

That’s not kindness. That’s emotional blackmail.

Even with work, you crossed the line.

When you insisted on knowing my invoice numbers, my paycheck, down to the last decimal—

My gut said: There’s a motive.

And I was right.

You didn’t know I barely had enough cash to prepare for Eid.

I scraped together money to make the house feel festive—only to have your crew eat everything like it was a buffet at a five-star hotel.

And then you spent the rest of it like it was yours.

You forced me to go out during Eid, and when I said I couldn’t afford it, you got mad.

Apparently, being single means I have infinite funds and zero responsibilities, huh?

There was a time I didn’t mind going places with you.

That was when I only had to think about myself.

Now? Going anywhere with you means I’m financially responsible for the whole circus.

Ever since you tried to turn me into your wallet with legs, I’ve realized something:

You’re only friends with me because of money.

And when your special day rolls around?

You demand a gift. 

Not request. 

Demand.

Whether I can afford it or not? 

Doesn’t matter. 

Your entitlement always wins.

Let’s be clear:

You didn’t just take advantage of my kindness.

You strategically exploited it.

And one last thing before I forget— Yeah, I’ve known for a long time there’s something between you and you-know-who.


I just played dumb. 

You two really thought I was clueless? 

That’s adorable.

Don’t worry. 

Your little secret? 

Still safe with me.

If it ever leaks out, trust me—it wasn’t from me.

And if, by any chance, you’re reading this and thinking, “Wow… this sounds a lot like me…”

Congrats. You’re right. It’s 100% about you.

It’s not me.

It’s definitely all of you.

So kindly do me a favor:

Stay away from me.

Stay away from my family.

And stay far, far away from my life.


Goodbye.

And good riddance.

Sunday, 26 July 2015

My mistake

This was a huge mistake.

Unfortunately, this time, the mistake was mine.

I shared too much about my private life with someone I barely knew—someone who claimed to be a friend, even though we'd only just met. 

I realize now that I tend to trust people far too easily and often ignore the warning signs when someone isn’t truly a good friend.

And now? 

Reality has slapped me in the face.

Just when I finally found the solution I've been waiting for—something that could help with my marriage—they turned their backs on me.

They started trying to dictate my life, telling me who I should or shouldn’t be with.


They don’t understand that I already found my own clarity.

Yes, I’ll admit it: I still love him deeply. 

I’m genuinely considering giving him a second chance—not because I’m afraid of starting over or too lazy to find someone new—but because I see his efforts. 

I see the changes. 

He’s been showing me, little by little, that he’s becoming a better man.

They say he’ll never change.

But they don’t see what I see.

They weren’t there.

I was the one who spent five full days with him—just the two of us.

And during those days, I saw something real: growth.

A shift. A quiet effort.

So, tell me—why shouldn’t I give him a second chance?

Saturday, 26 May 2012

Good Bye Dear You ;)

After last night having #obrolanabsurdsamaabang.

We talk about the Miss Alien and end up with conclusion : just let it go and don't do anything ;) just watching from the distance ;)

Here some of my word about that :

How's can't I miss the good old days? Damn Surely I miss the good old days.

Us Together having fun and talk about everything & anything but it takes two to tango.

If someday you'll miss the good old days, you'll know how to find me ;)

If you want it, I am sure you'll find a way.

Just don't come up to me with some lame excuse ;) I don't need it ;)

Kinda tired with all that lame excuse you give ;) Its just not make sense anymore. Nothing make sure anymore.

If you want it, you can make it ;) Its all about intention ;)

But somehow I'll know the time come to let it go ;) and when the time is come, I'll make sure let it go and won't look back either ;)

If I amn't mistaken, your the one who keep saying please don't keep the distance, don't change. But you are the one who keep the distance and change ;)

Its take two for tango. ;) I'll let it go and won't look back for good. Good bye ;)

Take good care dear you ;) 

Thursday, 8 March 2012

It happen (again)

Owkey this thing happen (again)

This thing make me more frustration than ever before

First Miss Runaway, Miss Alien now Miss Primadonna

Somebody please tell me what did i done wrong...

What the hell was my mistake?

They just disappear in my life for good right after they have a new life.

What was that?

Its not like i am the jackass who want to ruin their life for good..

I won't do anything like that because they are my best friend

I am happy for them.

I am really really happy for them, for real.

I wish them happiness in their life....

They are my best friend and of course i really really want to see them happy with their new life. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just want to know what the hell my mistake was?

What did I done wrong?

Can somebody just tell me what my mistake in front of my face rather than just disappear from my life for good without any explanation

There something just doesn't make sense for me, they all looking for me whenever they have difficult time in their life and desperately need someone to talk to, I'll be there for them no matter what happen ;)

But now as soon as they have their new happy life, they just decided to disappear from my life without any explanation and make me wondering what the hell did i done wrong?

Sigh

Monday, 26 December 2011

(Don't ) Change Please

Don't Change Please <------ I've still remember those word she told me before she got married

Back then we're close, might be not that close but we've shared a lot of happiness and sadness

Back then she was a nice companion, great friend, nice sister and everything i can imagine what i have if i have my own sister

Even thought we have up and down on friendship but i really thought it will last long

But then again who i am to dream about it

She's the one that says to me : When i got married one day, Please Don't Change. Please don't keep the distance from me.  

I keep my promise for not be the one whose change and the one whose doesn't keep the distance

For an incident that happen 25 Dec 2011, just want to say :
  • Thank you for the the friendship and i really appreciate it
  • Deeply Apologize if after all these time shared happiness and sadness, we've just a huge burden for you
  • Deeply Apologize if after all these time we're not being a friend or companion just like you want us to be 
  • It's a great honor to have you as a friend 
Adios Amigo Dear You ;)

Take good care of you & your family

If somehow in the future by any chance, you meet us in the street don't bother say hallo or chat with us because we've understand that you don't want to have anything or doing something that include us ;)

Don't worry we're not keep the distance with you, it's you're the one who keep the distance from us.
You make that huge wall between us buts that's OK. It really does

Just remember when somehow in the future by any chance, you think that you need us just remember its not us the one who walk away but its you the one who turn your back on us

Good bye dear friend ;)

Monday, 29 November 2010

Lidah tak bertulang

Pepatah bilang lidah tak bertulang

Wisdom word by dika : lidah memang tak bertulang bukan berarti bisa mengumbar sembarang kata. Mulutmu harimaumu. Apa yang ucapkan mencerminkan karaktermu.

Bukan maksud apa-apa sebenarnya.

Sebenarnya sudah sejak lama agak 'risih' dengan profile salah seorang teman komunitas *identitas wajib disamarkan*

Beliau (karna kebetulan lebih tua beliau dari saya) dan sebetulnya tidak pernah ada masalah yang bisa cukup dijadikan alasan untuk memblokir beliau.

Tapi tadi siang agak sedikit kaget membaca status beliau yang cukup sengit tentang kejadian di sekelilingnya tapi entah mengapa saya melihat beliau lebih memfokuskan ke aksesoris keagamaan *huff*

Saya mencoba berbaik sangka bahwa beliau tidak akan memperpanjang masalah tersebut tapi ternyata setelah saya memposting komen di statusnya ternyata nada sengit itu makin menjadi.

Khawatir menjadi debat kusir yang tak perlu dan terlebih saya tak ingin menambah daftar panjang musuh *ups maksudnya daftar panjang orang2 yang saya lebih suka tak berurusan dengan mereka karena satu dan lain hal*

Jadilah saya report beliau di FB dan kemudian saya remove :)

Maaf ya sebelumnya.

Daripada saya sendiri yang sengit dan jadi debat kusir tidak penting jadi anda saya remove

Afwan :) 

Friday, 26 November 2010

Nyari Gara-Gara

To be honest, i am not the kinda people who pissed easily or high temper with somebody behavior but if somebody mess around with me, he/she is messing around with wrong people.

I know this kinda freak people from his freak friend that happen to be my special guy in the past (halah mo bilang dia temennya mantan gw aja ribet)

I know him since 2001 until now but never met him in person, even thought back then he often ask me to meet in person but somehow i always said NO with different excuse

Until a few month before he get married, he get some weird attitude and i personally hate it so i do my own way to make him stop doing that weird attitude but that results something : He pissed with me because my word and i am so damn angry with him so i dare him to REMOVE ME from Blackberry Messenger  and Facebook but somehow i still see him in my Blackberry Messenger.

I knew his marriage will be held in November in his wife hometown and i see him upload in Face book so i write some congratulation word to him (only in the name of friendship that we once have), but after doing some quick observe, i notice that he reply all comments from his friend but not Me. He is just IGNORE my comment.

OK THEN HE ASK FOR IT. 

HE DECLARE A WAR WITH ME. 

FINE

I take a quick act to REMOVE MY COMMENT and then go straight to HIS PROFILE and then I BLOCK HIM from MY Facebook 

I take My Mobile to BLOCK HIM on my BBM

I JUST MAKE A SIMPLE ACT. 

WHATS THE USE HE IS still IN MY FRIEND LIST BUT WE BOTH KNOW THAT WE WOULD NEVER SPEAK TO EACH OTHER AGAIN?

IT JUST A TOTAL WASTE

BETTER REMOVE HIM

*MUAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA*

GOOD BYE

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Goodbye Dini

Memang bener Hadist yang bilang kalau Jodoh, Rezeki, Maut itu ditangan Allah swt.

Tidak ada yang pernah bisa memprediksikan atau menentukan kapan jodoh, rezeki seseorang.

Pertama kali kenal sama dini itu pas gathering FUPEI di Metropolitan Mall itu sekitar tahun 2006 akhir atau tahun 2007

Memang jarang ngobrol panjang lebar di YM atau bahkan ngobrol dari hati ke hati.

Makanya kemarin sekitar bulan Mei 2010 begitu dapat kabar dia didiagnosa LEUKIMIA. 

Kaget binti shock banget banget berharap itu adalah kekeliruan diagnosa sang dokter.

Baru tanggal 30 Oktober kemarin menjenguk dini di RSCM, pas dilihat dari ruang kaca dini hanya tersenyum bahkan sempat melambaikan tangan lalu kemudian tertidur kembali 

Kaget ketika 14 November 2010 tiba-tiba dapat kabar mengejutkan tentang Dini

Beliau berpulang ke rahmatullah 14 NOVEMBER 2010 jam 10.00 WIB

Dikarenakan hari sabtu dompet tertinggal di laci kantor jadi begitu selesai ujian ke kantor dulu baru ke RSCM jadi ngga bisa lihat saat saat terakhir beliau

SELAMAT JALAN DINIE

Ya Allah, tolong titip sahabatku disana. 

Maafkan dika yang ngga bisa lihat saat-saat terakhir dini,

SELAMAT JALAN DINIE

GOODBYE DINIE

Thursday, 22 July 2010

orat oret

Something strange happen to me today...


Whole day, my emotion was like a damn roller coaster *doesn't mean exaggerate but that's what i really feel today* 

I guess that still shock about that whole friend thing that i thinks it worth to fight for but turn out to be something useless... 

Its happen again just like they said history repeated itself... 

Disappointed, angry, sad and everything in between were mix 

The old scars were suddenly pop out just like a story that had an episode... 

Never thought it would happen again and again... 

I guess its really my fault because being a wimp and afraid to do something that i should do in the first place... 

Being a fool cause think i might found the antidote for this toxic 

But then i was wrong again 

Well its already happen and there's nothing i can do to fix it... 

Won't look back and regret everything 

This time i will do what i should do a long time a go.. 

Good bye.. 

Take good care yourself dear friend 

Its time for me to take care myself, pursue my dream for the future... 
:)

Monday, 23 November 2009

Good Bye

setiap pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan....

Setiap perjumpaan cepat atau lambat akan menemui gerbang perpisahan...

perpisahan dalam segala bentuk sejatinya tak akan membawa rasa bahagia tetapi kehidupan harus terus berjalan ....

Perpisahan bukan alasan untuk menghabiskan waktu yang kita punya dengan bersedih...

Perpisahan tidak boleh dijadikan alasan keterpurukan semangat dalam menjalani hidup....

Perpisahan sejatinya akan melahirkan perjumpaan kembali di waktu yang akan datang tanpa bisa kita prediksi...

Yang bisa kita lakukan hanyalah menjalani hidup sebaik mungkin seperti biasanya....

Perpisahan tak ubahnya bak dua sisi mata koin yang saling bertentangan...

Perpisahan bisa jadi membawa kebaikan bagi satu pihak atau bisa jadi kebaikan bagi kedua belah pihak...

No matter what the show must go on...

Farewell my dear friend...

Wish u all the very best...

i am very glad to be your partner for the last two semester...

you are more than a work partner, bestfriend, bul bul partner, partner in crime ...

wish u all the very very very best....

Keep up the good work friend...

Pssstttt : i need bul bul :p

Dedicated for mbah neng omesh :p

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Shock

perubahan terkadang seperti pisau bermata dua yang bisa memberikan kebaikan sekaligus membawa keburukan

terkadang perubahan yang terlalu amat sangat drastis terkadang teramat sangat mengejutkan dan mampu memunculkan sejuta pertanyaan yang tak mampu dijawab dan dicerna oleh akal sehat..

Perubahan terjadi seiring dengan berjalannya waktu..

Waktu seolah menjadi kambing hitam yang selalu pasrah setiap kali seseorang menudingkan jari ke arahnya.

Waktu seolah menjadi terdakwa atas kesalahan yang sama sekali tak pernah dilakukannya... 

Waktu seolah menjadi sang pesakitan yang siap masuk ruang operasi karena penyakit menahunnya...

Waktu seolah menjadi biang keladi jika semua perubahan yang terjadi terasa ganjil di hadapan mata, terasa begitu menyakitkan untuk dirasakan, terlalu silau untuk dilihat, terlalu rumit untuk dicerna....

Tapi salahkah jika akhirnya kembali melimpahkan semua itu kepada waktu jika hati dan pikiran tak sanggup untuk mencerna apa yang sedang terjadi?

Begitu mudahnya mempermainkan apa yang selama ini begitu lantang diucapkan tapi begitu mudahnya mengubah semua yang diyakini menjadi seonggok tumpukan sampah tak berarti...

Jika memang demikian masihkah berani mengucapkan kata kata keramat yang sudah teramat sangat diproklamirkan di hadapan khalayak ramai jika sesungguhnya sama sekali tak mengetahui apa makna dari kata keramat yang selama ini diucapkan???????

Jika memang tak mengerti esensi dari kata keramat yang diucapkan mengapa dengan semangat 45 mengucapkan dengan lantang kata keramat itu seperti membaca naskah proklamasi????

Tak sadarkah bahwa kata keramat yang dulu kau ucapkan dengan lantang itu menjadi tak bermakna di hadapanku akibat ketidakpahamanmu tentang kata keramat itu...

Dengan jujur aku mengakui bahwa aku memang mahluk yang tak sempurna tak lepas dari segala khilaf dan salah tapi setidaknya aku mengetahui apa esensi dari kalimat keramat yang kerap kali kau agungkan itu karenanya aku tak akan mungkin merusak makna dari kata keramat itu dengan perlakuan ajaib itu...

Sungguh kali ini aku kecewa dan tak sanggup mengekspresikan segala bentuk kemarahan, kesedihan, kekecewaan yang ada yang selama ini terpendam akibat peristiwa ajaib itu

Kecewa teramat sangat dan terluka kembali...

Mungkinkah selama ini aku yang salah mengartikan arti kata keramat yang kerap kali kau agungkan itu?

Tak cukupkah persahabatan selama jutaan tahun yang selama ini terjalin sehingga kau tak lagi sudi membaginya denganku?

Tak ada artinya kah selama ini jalinan persahabatan jika akhirnya seperti ini?

Meski teramat sangat bingung atas apa yang terjadi dan sejuta tanya yang mampir di benakku tapi kali ini sungguh kecewa teramat sangat untuk yang kesekian kalinya...

Memang bener waktu bisa membuat orang berubah tapi mengapa perubahan yang terjadi ini terlalu teramat sangat drastis dan tak sanggup di hadapi dengan tenang?

Jika memang benar ini adalah jalan yang akhirnya akan kau tempuh silahkan kembali meneruskan perjalanan yang tertunda....

Tak perlu merasa bersalah padaku atas segala yang telah terjadi karena sebenarnya aku yang bersalah mengira semuanya tak akan pernah berubah...

Tak perlu merasa kehilanganku sebagai sahabat karena sesungguhnya aku tak pernah pergi ataupun menghilang di hutan belantara kehidupan...

*masih speechless dan mencoba mencerna apa yang sesungguhnya terjadi....

selamat jalan sahabatku yang dulu dan selamat datang pribadimu yang baru :)

doakan semoga aku mampu memahami dirimu yang baru dengan segala keterbatasan dan kekuranganku...

good luck for the new you and your new life

wroted by :

teman yang sedang tersesat :)

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Bukber Reuni 2009

Another Bukber Reuni 2009..

Seperti tahun sebelumnya, tahun ini bukber reuni diadakan kembali di lokasi yang sama dengan pertambahan personil tiga orang yakni : najwa, alvaro, sama sapto *calonnya sang sita* hohoho

Buka puasa yang semarak ditambah dengan kehadiran 3 bintang tamu utama kali ini : najwa, alvaro sama sapto plus ditambah dengan kabar gembira karena sang sita akan segera melepas masa lajangnya di bulan desember tahun ini   *i am veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy happyyyyyyyyyyyy for you*

Seperti biasa pertanyaan klasik membosankan itu mampir kembali xixixixixi

Sang sita pun berkata : tenang, gw kan desember... dika januari xixixixixi *ngga dibatasin kan tahunnya karena kalo januari tahun depan sepertinya gedung fully booked semua nampaknya*

Sayangnya bukber reuni kali ini hanya dengan formasi 4 *lagi lagi mahluk satu itu tak bisa hadirpun huh teramat sangat mengecewakan*

Jadi inget kelakar hari itu : setahun aja nambah dua personil jadi wondering tahun depan nambah berapa ya :p jiahahahahahaha

Hopefully next time saya yang akan membawa kabar gembira beserta sang mahluknya ke hadapan kalian

Aminnnnnnnnnnnn

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

waks

I've still remember every kinda detail on that day...


Never felt humiliated like that before ever in my whole life *agak berlebihan seh bahasanya*


Entah apa yang terlintas dalam benaknya..


Mungkin hanya bermaksud bercanda dengan menjadikanku objek penderitaan di depan semua orang banyak...


Entah mengapa tak sedikitpun kata-kata meluncur dariku...


Mungkin semua orang yang menyaksikan tampak begitu heran karena saat itu diriku hanya bisa tersimpul dan diam ditengah berondongan pertanyaan memilukan ituh.

(ngga tahu aja padahal dalam hati rasanya kepala ini mendidih....

ingin rasanya membenturkan kepalanya ke meja seakan ingin memberikan pelajaran mengapa begitu tega mempermalukanku depan orang banyak)

Terlalu banyak pemakluman yang kuberikan padanya dikarenakan kondisinya saat ini tetapi mengapa tak juga dia sadari....


Siapakah dia sesungguhnya? 


Sahabatkah atau musuh dalam selimut?


Jika dia menyebut dirinya sebagai temanku, pantaskah rasanya melakukan semua itu?


Pantaskah dia melakukan itu tanpa berpikir ulang dan tanpa menimbang perasaanku?


Tidakkah dia membayangkan bagaimana rasanya jika dirinya berada dalam situasi yang sama sepertiku?


Masih punya hati ngga seh sebenernya?


Berkali-kali dia melukai perasaanku tanpa dia sadari.


Berkali-kali pemakluman atas dasar persahabatan aku berikan atas segala ulahnya selama ini...


Tapi sungguh kali ini aku MUAK....


Muak dengan segala tingkahnya yang egois dan tak pernah sedikitpun menimbang perasaanku....


Ada apa sebenarnya denganmu?


Apa maksud terselubung dari ulahmu kali ini?


Inikah persahabatan yang selalu kau agungkan itu?


Ulah apalagi yang hendak kau lakukan itu?


Sungguh aku tak akan lagi memberikan pemakluman atas dasar persahabatan...


Aku muak dengan segala ulahmu..


Apa maksud dari ulahmu kali ini?


Puaskah kau melakukan ini semua dalam kehidupanku?


Puaskah kau mempermalukanku di hadapan umum?


Tak sadarkah bahwa sebenarnya saat itu bukan aku yang kau permalukan tapi sesungguhnya semua orang pun tahu bahwa saat itu sebenarnya kau sedang mempermalukan dirimu sendiri...


Usahamu untuk mempermalukanku di depan umum sesungguhnya telah berbalik menjadi senjata makan tuan...


Tak sadarkah kau hanya mempermalukan dirimu sendiri..


Waktu berlalu tapi satu yang tak pernah berubah bahwa kau tak pernah berubah...


Kau dengan segala sifatmu...


Kau dengan segala arogansimu...


Kau yang selalu mengkritik apapun yang kulakukan seolah ingin menegaskan bahwa Aku (dika) seharusnya mencontoh diriku yang sempurna, kehidupanku yang sempurna...


Kau yang selalu menghujamkanku ke jurang tak berdasar setiap kali ku mencoba berbagi cerita bahagiaku seolah ingin menegaskan bahwa aku (dika) tak boleh berbahagia karena hanya aku (dia) yang seharusnya berbahagia...


Kau yang selalu mencoba menjadikanku sebagai korban dengan membuatku menjadi penjahat atas ulahmu sendiri


Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


terlalu banyak kata-kata yang tak mampu kujabarkan betapa sakitnya hati ini...


Peristiwa kemarin itu seolah menjadi puncak dari kemarahanku selama ini padamu..


Tak adil rasanya jika saat ini kembali memberikan pemakluman atas nama persahabatan karena sesungguhnya tak pernah kau hargai persahabatan itu sendiri...


Belum lega tapi udah harus tidur karena besok ngajar pagi...


To be continued