Farewell

Darn it, I've wrote almost everything that I could've think and remember about all those painful, awful, dreadful experience since I've known you.

Somehow by mistake, i accidentally click something and next thing i know my posts are gone. 

So I'll just write everything without sugarcoat anything

Before I start to elaborate all the painful, awful, dreadful, enormous horror story since we've known each other, there’s one thing you should know. 

You should know that I've appreciate, grateful for all your good deeds and for being there with me when I am at the lowest point in my life (help me to restore and improve a few aspects in my life).

FYI you're one of a few people that I've consider as my right hand (well you've known almost everything that happens in my life) so I feel defeated, frustrated, disappointed and betrayed at the same times.

I've try the very best I could to think that there's might be a reason behind all of this, but no matter how hard I try to analyze it I just couldn't find it.

The only reason I've wrote this was never about trying to spread these to everyone so they will find out.

I've wrote this for the sake of my mind and my happiness.

So I am gonna start to write it down. 

I really thought you're being genuine, earnest, and you’re one of my right hand but now I know there's a conceal motive behind all of it.

Really thought I can feel or the very least expect when things are out of control but I was too gullible and easily trust with people I've barely know

You know damn well my weaknesses and how to turn it for your own benefit and I despise it.

You know damn well how to manipulate and convince me to do something for your own benefit

Your attempt to use me as your personal cash machine which I've should realize it sooner but I am trying to understand your situation.

Honestly after almost a week forces to spend time with all of you, I've begin to know and understand the real you.

Despise myself for being too stubborn enough to acknowledge everything, I am willingly to let it slide it because I am trying to understand your new condition and you aren't doing it on purpose

Boy I was so god damn wrong.

For now, you're the most selfish, egotistical human being I've ever known on planet earth

I am able to mentions and write it down of all the things you've done, pretty sure it  would take more than one post.

I don’t know about you but when it comes to being someone right hand, I wouldn’t think of doing anything to jeopardize those position.

I rarely do sleepovers but when I eventually do sleepovers, I would be damn If I would be troublesome for my host. 

For the very least I would bring my own toiletries (like toothpaste, toothbrush, soap, shampoo, etc.), clothes, snack and cash.

I wouldn’t embarrassed or humiliate them in their own neighborhood. I wouldn’t burden them for things that should be my own expense. 

You've told me there's a good opportunity and want to give it a try. I thought it was meant to share the expense and I was disappointed when I am the one who should provide everything and yet have to share the financial gain

Appreciate for the ride but why should I share the financial gain when you're not invest in the first place. 

When I've sold all the first product, i am more than willingly to share the financial gain.

When you said there's a second product, I thought things will be different these time. Damn I was wrong. 

Your first product wasn't being sold and when you have the second product, you gave it to him without even bother asking a permission

You're not even trying to sold that product to anyone like your first plan which you've told me before buying that product. 

Didn't believe I am that stupid, couldn't see that you're making me like a fool.

One thing I wouldn't tolerate from anyone are lying. 

Yet, on the last day, you have the nerve to lying straight in my face when I ask you several time.

You even have the audacity and told me that you have no idea how my second product was gone. 

I found out later at night that you use my second product without even bother to ask me, and you're lying when I asked you earlier 

You call me names and humiliate me in front of your offspring. They didn't even respect me enough even though they're actually having sleepover for a week at my place.

Even your youngest told me that since they are guest, they should have the privilege to rest in primary bed and I should rest in other bed on the floor. I am shocked and furious when I heard that sentences come from her.

When you order me to give each one of them an Eid cash which you told me that specific amount. Damn woman, do you think I have grown a lot money tree in my yard or you think that I have my own printer and copy machine for cash.

I do know and understand that you've been helping me a lot when I am at my lowest point in my life. But always brought that up and use that as a weapon to guilt trip me when I couldn't be there to help are low and evil.

Yeah you're my right hand but there are things that strictly to know basis when it related to work.

When you insist to know about my work invoice, my paycheck and force me to mention the exact number, my instinct start to told me there is hidden motive behind all of these.

You have no idea that I didn't have enough cash for Eid these years, so I save some money to buy some food for Eid at home. 

As predicted that your offspring eat all those food and my spare money was drawn for your own expense that you should spend it with your own cash.

When you force me to go somewhere at Eid holidays because you're bored and you're furious when I said I didn't have cash. 

I am aware that I am single but that doesn't mean I don't have any expenses or need. I am single but that doesn't mean I have to pay everything for all of you.

In the past, I am willingly to go anywhere with you but that's because I only have to think and worry about my own damn needs and expense. 

But now whenever I go with all of you and all the expense are on my shoulder, I am really sorry but I'd prefer to go alone.

Ever since your attempt to make me as your cash machine, I begin to think that you're only friend with me because I have money. 

When your special day comes, you blatantly force me to buy you a gift. You wouldn't care or ask me if I have enough cash to buy those gift. 

I can't believe that you made me as your personal ATM and often I let it slide because I am trying to understand your new position but you use my weaknesses for your own benefit. 

Oh one thing before I forgot, I've known for long time that there's a thing between you and you know who. 

All this time I just pretend  that I am clueless and know nothing about it and I can't believe that both of you think that I am clueless. 

Don't worry that secret will be secret. 

If later on people find it out, rest assure it wasn't from me.

If somehow someday you've read these and think all of these description was perfectly fit for you, yeah you're god damn right it's about you. 

So its not me. Definitely it's all of you. 

I had enough and please stay away from me, my family and my life

BYE