Can't I just take some rest, Please ?

أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللّٰهَ‎

I swear I’m this close to losing my sanity. 

This whole thing — this endless circus of problems — just won’t stop.

Every damn day it’s something new. Another fire to put out. Another mess to clean up. Another crisis that lands in my lap simply because I’m “the eldest” and “the responsible one.”

Do any of them even realize I’m human?

That I have a pulse, a mind, a breaking point?

Why can’t they just let me breathe for a moment? 

Just one moment.

I know my role. I know my responsibilities. I know people count on me.
But “overwhelmed” doesn’t even come close to what I’m feeling right now.

It’s beyond overwhelmed — it’s drowning in a storm while people hand you more buckets of water.

I’ve been trying to rebuild my life from scratch, to claw back some piece of myself, but how do you focus when every single day a new “challenge” crashes through your door?

It’s like the universe waits for me to exhale just so it can shove another test in my face.

Every time I think, “Okay, one crisis down, now I can finally focus on me…”

Oh boy. I was so damn wrong.

Another wave comes. Another demand. Another burden that isn’t even mine to carry but somehow ends up strapped to my back.

It’s a vicious cycle, a treadmill from hell that I can’t seem to step off.

And while everyone claps for my strength, no one asks if I’m okay.

No one sees how thin I’m stretched. How my sanity is slipping through my fingers.

I’m tired. I’m angry. I’m hollow.

And all I want — all I’m begging for — is rest.

Just one day where I’m not the problem-solver, the caretaker, the “strong one.”

Can’t I just stop? 

Can’t I just sit down without the world collapsing?

Please. Just let me breathe.