Thursday, 31 January 2019

Time boom explode

January 2019 hasn't ended yet but its bring the worst unnecessary pitiful drama.

The last contact we have was me asking unnecessary questions (according to her) about why there's no single photo of her and me in both her social media (either it's Facebook or Instagram)

Imagine my surprise that yesterday morning when I received that long ass paragraph Whats App message from miss tuan puteri.

That long ass paragraph Whats App message that she sends to me probably would be better to be written as a book

There's a lot of things that's she wrote in the first long ass paragraph as follows:
  • Ask (more likely interrogations) about my post in Instagram is it post directly to her? If it's true, why post it in my Instagram. 
  • Why don't just talk or discuss it private with her. 
  • Somehow she got the impression from my post that she is the bad people whose doing awful things. Why I keep apologize but then repeat it constantly
  • She said that she is been patients enough to put up with my attitude as her "friends" for all this time
  • She is disappointed with me, and if she want to uncover and expose my dirty laundry to everyone that she could do it but she won't do it consider the long friendship we have 
  • She doesn't need my appreciation when she is there with me through my hard time
  • Her quote : My children's doesn't need a gift from you. Told me that you're trying to save some money but ironically keep posting about your travel destination and food culinary adventure. That's when i understand your quality as friend. Don't promise something you can't keep
  • You didn't bother to check up on me, ask how my well being or hows my children, didn't visit me after labor. Instead of doing those thing, you keep lashing out on me in social media.
  • I am being tolerant with you remembering all those time since junior high school you're being a good friend despite there's are thing i don't like
  • FYI, when you're text me the other days that late night, i just finished giving birth to my second children, my sons can't sleep and i can't do breastfeed right after. Instead of asking my well being or simply ask how am i doing but you brought up all the picture that been erased from Facebook & Instagram. If being friend are just asking photo, congratulate on birthday without actually being care, why bother.
  • Her quote : i think with your higher education and you're from good family, the least you can do is act wisely and choose which one are right and wrong. Koreksi diri (I don't know the right word for it) and i'll do the same thing. Why don't you post something useful so you'll look well educated
Then this is my reply to her long ass paragraph whats app message :
  • told her that it wasn't my type to lash out to people on any social media platform (either Facebook or Instagram)
  • We've been know for almost 23 years, if i hold a grudge on you, why the hell would i lash out on Instagram
  • It seems you're thinking that i am bad friend and i never done any good deeds in those 23 years.
  • If i may recall from junior high school until now, i have a lot disappointment with you as well
  • Since you brought up my food picture, did you know which one its work related or my personal travelling. Did you even ask me about it.
  • Since Junior high school, every time we're going out anywhere its a must to go to your place first and you aren't prepared yet. Did i ever address any complain to that
And then she reply back and said you're not a bad guy. You're a good guy

I reply back to her and said i realized that I've said some horrible thing the last time we've meet (Ramadhan 2016) and i apologize for that

She said I know that i didn't ask about it, but i am disappointed why you give me promise if you can't keep. That's all

I reply back to her and said : the last time we've meet that you're saying about committing suicide while you have everything that I want. You're married, pregnant and yet you're still thinking about suicide. You know what, Never mind. 

One thing i can guarantee back to you, those word would never likely come from me : i'll uncover and expose your dirty laundry

She said oh okay, i am apologize for that but remember when you're ask me to go through Pondok Gede  but i want to go through Curug because my parents waited for me so they can go to their hometown. By the time i am home, they scolded me (its happens in Junior High School)

I reply back and said : It's not my habit to lash out my grudge on peole on any social media platforms (either Instagram or Facebook).  

Remember when i took you to hang out with Fupei community. When it's time to watch movie and you won't do it. You're saying awful things like : If i came home alone, better forget me as friend and to make it worst, you repeat those word in front of everyone. 

And then after we're separate from crowd, you're saying things like : if you want to watch movie, i can go home by myself. 

Unfortunately, your awful words scars me until today. 

Apologize for not keeping up my promise about send a give to your children.

Since we're talking about friendship, i have experience a lot disappointment  with you and your attitude. 

Apologize that i can't be your friend as you expected me to be. 

One thing for sure that your secret save with me. Either its a dirty laundry or secret, it will be save with me. 

Don't take my post on Instagram seriously and don't take it personal. 

There's no post in my Instagram have any mean to hurt or satirize you. 

She reply back and said I forgot about this and if my word are hurting you deeply and i apologize for that. Also apologize that i can't be your friend as you expected me to be 
 
I reply back and said this i am sorry if i never ask about you or your childrens but kindly remember after you're married or last time we meet during ramadan 2016, did we ever have any long conversation or chat in Whats App?

Imagine my surprise and disappointed when reading your long ass paragraph whats app saying things like : you want me to uncover and expose your secret and dirty laundry

For your information, i would never done that to anyone, specially not to you 

I don't know why but since the first time we're friend there's always ultimatum or threat if there's something don't fit with your will and desire. 

Honestly its totally up with you, I've explain everything. If uncover and expose my secret and dirty laundry will make you happy, feel free to do it

Your secret safe with me, that's all. 

Thanks for being there during my hard time, i really appreciate it. 

Friend don't give their friend ultimatum or threat. 

Walaikumsalam Warrahmatullahi wabarakatuh

She reply back and said this I don't give you an ultimatum. I am just explaining things. Its different with giving ultimatum. 

If your post wasn't mean to hurt or lash out on me, why would you post thing like that?

I reply back and said what the fuck!!!!! why the hell you're making big deal about my post

Last time we're communicated, both of us doesn’t ask or catch up with each other.

My Instagram post has nothing to do with you. 

There's a lot of things happening in my life and none of it related to you

Don't take my post too personal about and all that post never mean to hurt or lash out on you. 

She reply back and said It's not my type to uncover or expose secret or dirty laundry. I don't feel proud or happy doing it

I reply back and said what do you mean about uncover and expose my secret and dirty laundry. 

She reply back and said because your word in Instagram that make me think what have i done wrong to deserve this lash out

Honestly i am shocked whenever i open Instagram and read all your post.

I reply back and said I've told you earlier about don't take my post seriously because it I don’t have any intention to hurt or lash out to anyone in particular.

I ask to meet and discuss about this and i got no response from you. 

It's not my type to lash out anyone in Instagram.
 
She reply back and said I've told you if you want to meet me, meet me at my home because i can't go anywhere. I got 2 kids and the young one is still a baby. Even if i can leave home it only going to market to put my cakes. 

I reply back and said If you have those thought on me, it means you didn't know me at all. 

She reply back and said It's not that i don't know you. But you're constantly post things like that make me think like that. 

Maybe you forgot if i told you about my first pregnancy and your reaction was flat and toneless when you congratulate me.

I reply back and said I don't remember having that chat at all. 

She reply back and said Maybe you erase that chat but i remember I've send that chat. Why would i lie about that 

I guess that all for now, if there's any issue, we can discuss about it another time 

I reply back and said I've never erase chat unless back up chat can't be restore. 

OK 

___________________________________________________________

That was the longest conversation since last time we chat or meet. Sadly those aren't the kind of conversation that i would like to have with her.

Honestly i felt offended by the way she start the conversation and lash out on me like that even when I've explain everything about it.

She still trying to make me confess or admit that my post are meant to hurt or lash out on her, even when i explain everything.

You're my friend, yeah i know that. But we haven't communicated for years so why would i hold any grudge on you based on years without talking to each other. 

Sadly i have to admit that you don't really know me at all if somehow across your  mind that i would post things to hurt or lash out on anyone.

Even to the one who hurt me badly, i wouldn't lash out to them on any social media platform.

After these no way I would accept any offer to meet and discuss all these dispute with her.

I learn something about her attitude, character that i didn't know she have.

If you're really know me for the last 23 years, you of all people should know that I am immune to bluffing.

You're bluffed to uncover and expose my dirty laundry. When I call your bluffed, all you're saying that you it's not my type to uncover and expose dirty laundry. I don't feel proud or happy to do it

Maybe our time to be friend are over. 

Maybe we just go our separate ways & wish each other success and happiness ahead.

Good Bye Miss Tuan Putri

Monday, 21 January 2019

Crave

I don't know what happens or what I've felt anymore.

Maybe it's because I haven't heal % from past nightmare or maybe it's because i get attached to him too quickly after 7 months divorce.

Past nightmare? I am over it, that's for sure.

One thing I can guarantee that I don't want anything related with that person forever.

I am just a little frustrated about the situation, the whole time differences and how little the interaction between us.

I want to talk about anything and everything with you.

I want to have live interaction to see if the chemistry between us are real.

I want to see your expression (either it's happy, smile, laughter, angry, sad) with my own eyes.

I want to have that first date with you (either its a long walk in the park or we've talk for hours about everything and anything)

I want to say good morning/good afternoon/good night or even hello directly staring to your face (not typing it to my phone)

I realize it's a little hard to do since you're busy with work and your life.

I am a little frustrated about the whole time differences things.

When it's my time to sleep in Jakarta while it's still evening at Casablanca.

We barely talk or discuss in Whats App (revised : we've talk sometimes or discuss), most of the time we just send funny picture or YouTube link

I am craving for real life interaction with you, hope you're feeling the same

Good night Romeo

Monday, 26 February 2018

How

Tell me how to forgive someone whose storm out all the hurtful and bad stuff to you?

Tell me how to wipe those hurtful memory in your heart for good?

Tell me how to react after that person ask your forgiveness?

Tell me how to get rid that painful image in your memory for good?

Tell me how should I let go all the anger and pain that I am feeling inside?

Tell me why I should forgive and forget that person mistake?

I don't know how to handle these kind of accident.

Just give me sometime so I can erase that image for good.

Maybe one day, you'll earn my love and respect again.

But for now, sorry to said that you've lost my love and respect for you.

It's not me. It's just you 

Friday, 16 February 2018

Forgiven but not forgotten

Have you lost your fucking damn mind queen Oslo.

After you storm out all of anger, hateful words and all. Now out of nowhere, you just call her and text on WhatsApp asking for forgiveness.

You expect her to forgive you that easily huh? Like that doomsday never happen 

Damn, you're so damn naive and stupid sometimes.

You just can't accept that she will forgive you easily and take you back like before.

Don't worry, she will forgive your stupid rant, hateful words and everything but don't expect things will back to normal just like that 

Hope you're not forget those hateful words and rant you've send to my WhatsApp.

Don't worry, you're save since I didn't have any intention to show it to them.

Oh right, you're forgiven but I don't forget every single thing you've said to me 

Sorry to disappoint you, but you've lost my respect and love 

Another Doomsday

Astagfirullah...

The day that I fear the most are happens today.

Mom and dad already suffer enough since my divorce and every consequences that came with it

Dad have more than enough in his plate to worry about this stupid little stuff

Mom also have to accept the fact that her daughter being left out by the cowardly ex husband

Now these, she have to accept the fact that her son has an awfully wife.

Today, finally see her true self. What lies beneath those beautiful, sweet little girl have an ugly personality.

She is yelling, screaming, throwing some stuff. She is being rude towards her, right in front of Alkha 

Sadly, I can't do anything else about it.

I am really really sorry mom and dad, both of you have to relive the same nightmare 

She even dare to accused me said a lot of bad word about her to mom. What the fuck !!!!!!!!!!!!

What's in it for me ?!!!!!!?!?!????

Hope one day, she'll regret every single thing that she said to mom and won't able to do anything about it

She remove me from every social media like path, Facebook, Instagram.

No matter how much you hate me, your husband is my brother. Nothing she can't do to change that

Wednesday, 11 October 2017

blood ain't thicker than water

Whoever said that blood is thicker than a water probably never meet my extended family for sure.

Blood is thicker than a water means family bonds are closer than those the outsider. in other words, those whose related by blood (relatives) are connected more intimately than those who are connected by water (non-relatives)

Call me cynical or bitter, but that kind of conditions would only exist in an imaginary world. Sure as hell it does not exist in real life especially my life. 

I always know there is something about those people that bother me. Not sure what and why I am thinking that way about them since half of them is an older relative

I shouldn't never ever question their intention or even motive, yet I am questioning every single thing.

Now everything is clear, why the hell I am feeling and thinking like that.

Whenever there's sugar, most definitely you're gonna find an ant crawling to take that sugar with them.

The same thing when you're somewhere in good condition, everyone mostly will come and consider you as their family because they have ulterior motives

When they can't have whatever they want from you, they would walk away and that's true when you're in a really bad shape.

Well honestly, my family are in really bad shape for now and all those people whose said mostly fabricated nice things are gone.

When you're in nice life mode, suddenly everyone wants and need to be near you. They would say every sweet thing to you and vow whatever they want from you, they will have it whatever it takes to have whatever they want. 

Hell, they would sweet talk and pursue to have whatever they want. 

Once they realize that your life screws up and in a deep black hole. 

Once they realize that they can't have whatever they want from you, they definitely walk away from you and won't even bother to help you most when you need it the most

Even though you beg them to help you out, believe they won't even bother to help you 

So yeah I don't buy those crappy words ever again

Tuesday, 30 May 2017

AIB? HELL NO

AIB? HELL NO

These subject are highly sensitive for me so yeah I am gonna be very subjective on these. 

I am doing these because lately there's a new trend in Indonesia called Steal Another Woman Husband and Special note for a retarded lady out there: Don't worry you can keep and take good care of HIM forever. You might have to watch him from now on to make sure he won't do the same thing to you like he did to me.

Here we go with these painful subject: Infidelity or what most people know as cheating. 

As I said earlier that there's a new trend so-called Steal Another Woman Husband, make him leave his legal wife and Marry Him. 

Not sure what's happening with nut job woman who would hurt other females by doing that and called that act in the name of love (sacred thing being tortured by Hines act like that)

Come on, do you really think that you can't find any single male out there so you take an easy way by stealing another woman husband?

There's a lot of single guys out there you fall in love and can't live without but you choose the unavailable guy by saying that you are crazy head over heel about him.

Love might be blind but not that blind by doing everything (even the worst possible way to have the love of your life by all cause)

Honey, you might think that you won the battle since you got the prize (the married man) and happily married. To celebrate your victory then you decided to announce it public in every social media you have and the world just have to accept the fact. 

Oh dear, you're definitely clueless if you really think like that. 

Listen when you steal another woman husband, you're not just hurt that woman but you're also hurt her family (pretty sure she have group of people who care deeply for her like her parents (father and mother), sibling (brother and sister), her relative, her friends, her best friend.

Most of all, I bet it didn't cross your mind that somewhere near future that he actually would do the same thing to you like he did before to his wife. 

Come on, he cheated on his wife so he can make a new life to be with you and didn't occur to you that he would cheat on you to be with someone new.

I don't believe in karma. I believe when we did good deeds to other, we will receive good deeds too. The same thing when we did bad deeds to other, soon or later we will receive the bad deeds.

You will reap what you sow means:
  • Everything that you do has repercussions. It comes back to you one way or another. 
  • You cannot escape the consequences of your actions. What you do comes back to you. 
  • you will see the long term effect of your actions
  • What goes around comes around. 
Anyway back to the main focus, I want to share. 

Is it wrong if someone shares their partner infidelity in their social media? Is it wrong to shares the proof of their partner infidelity for everyone to know?

HELL NO

It's not disgrace/dishonor/stigma. 

They were telling the truth and expose the fact about the shitiest thing their partner doing (their partner infidelity) 

The one whose should be the shame if the fact proof does come out are their partner.

They already suffer enough about their partner, don't make it even worse by saying if they post it in social media means they are doing disgrace.

Just be a decent human being. Showing some empathy and sympathy doesn't cost you nothing.