Wednesday, 11 October 2017

blood ain't thicker than water

Whoever said that blood is thicker than a water probably never meet my extended family for sure.

Blood is thicker than a water means family bonds are closer than those the outsider. in other words, those whose related by blood (relatives) are connected more intimately than those who are connected by water (non-relatives)

Call me cynical or bitter, but that kind of conditions would only exist in an imaginary world. Sure as hell it does not exist in real life especially my life. 

I always know there is something about those people that bother me. Not sure what and why I am thinking that way about them since half of them is an older relative

I shouldn't never ever question their intention or even motive, yet I am questioning every single thing.

Now everything is clear, why the hell I am feeling and thinking like that.

Whenever there's sugar, most definitely you're gonna find an ant crawling to take that sugar with them.

The same thing when you're somewhere in good condition, everyone mostly will come and consider you as their family because they have ulterior motives

When they can't have whatever they want from you, they would walk away and that's true when you're in a really bad shape.

Well honestly, my family are in really bad shape for now and all those people whose said mostly fabricated nice things are gone.

When you're in nice life mode, suddenly everyone wants and need to be near you. They would say every sweet thing to you and vow whatever they want from you, they will have it whatever it takes to have whatever they want. 

Hell, they would sweet talk and pursue to have whatever they want. 

Once they realize that your life screws up and in a deep black hole. 

Once they realize that they can't have whatever they want from you, they definitely walk away from you and won't even bother to help you most when you need it the most

Even though you beg them to help you out, believe they won't even bother to help you 

So yeah I don't buy those crappy words ever again

Tuesday, 30 May 2017



These subject are highly sensitive for me so yeah I am gonna be very subjective on these. 

I am doing these because lately there's a new trend in Indonesia called Steal Another Woman Husband and Special note for a retarded lady out there: Don't worry you can keep and take good care of HIM forever. You might have to watch him from now on to make sure he won't do the same thing to you like he did to me.

Here we go with these painful subject: Infidelity or what most people know as cheating. 

As I said earlier that there's a new trend so-called Steal Another Woman Husband, make him leave his legal wife and Marry Him. 

Not sure what's happening with nut job woman who would hurt other females by doing that and called that act in the name of love (sacred thing being tortured by Hines act like that)

Come on, do you really think that you can't find any single male out there so you take an easy way by stealing another woman husband?

There's a lot of single guys out there you fall in love and can't live without but you choose the unavailable guy by saying that you are crazy head over heel about him.

Love might be blind but not that blind by doing everything (even the worst possible way to have the love of your life by all cause)

Honey, you might think that you won the battle since you got the prize (the married man) and happily married. To celebrate your victory then you decided to announce it public in every social media you have and the world just have to accept the fact. 

Oh dear, you're definitely clueless if you really think like that. 

Listen when you steal another woman husband, you're not just hurt that woman but you're also hurt her family (pretty sure she have group of people who care deeply for her like her parents (father and mother), sibling (brother and sister), her relative, her friends, her best friend.

Most of all, I bet it didn't cross your mind that somewhere near future that he actually would do the same thing to you like he did before to his wife. 

Come on, he cheated on his wife so he can make a new life to be with you and didn't occur to you that he would cheat on you to be with someone new.

I don't believe in karma. I believe when we did good deeds to other, we will receive good deeds too. The same thing when we did bad deeds to other, soon or later we will receive the bad deeds.

You will reap what you sow means:
  • Everything that you do has repercussions. It comes back to you one way or another. 
  • You cannot escape the consequences of your actions. What you do comes back to you. 
  • you will see the long term effect of your actions
  • What goes around comes around. 
Anyway back to the main focus, I want to share. 

Is it wrong if someone shares their partner infidelity in their social media? Is it wrong to shares the proof of their partner infidelity for everyone to know?


It's not disgrace/dishonor/stigma. 

They were telling the truth and expose the fact about the shitiest thing their partner doing (their partner infidelity) 

The one whose should be the shame if the fact proof does come out are their partner.

They already suffer enough about their partner, don't make it even worse by saying if they post it in social media means they are doing disgrace.

Just be a decent human being. Showing some empathy and sympathy doesn't cost you nothing.

Sunday, 23 April 2017

Nah Or Yeah

Nah or Yeah ?

Maybe these thing went too damn fast and maybe i was over enthusiastic about it

I mean the idea of start a new relationship with someone new. Someone whose obviously are the dream guy.

The idea of falling in love and start a new relationship might lead to happy ending thing

Maybe i am falling in love with the idea but not actually falling in love with the guy itself.

I hate it when i am in the super duper over thinking mode because whenever it happens, always ruin the mood and everything else seems useless

Can't escape and trying not to overthinking about it

Maybe i should take thing not so seriously and take anything personal.

When i can figure out everything about it, maybe the answer will change.

So for now, the question remain the same : Nah or Yeah?

Saturday, 15 April 2017

I Have a Crush on You

Yeah you've read it right

I Have a crush on him, maybe even bigger than I've felt inside.

As time goes by and get to know him a little more, definitely sure that he is a dreamy guy that might be to good to be true.

Although i ain't 100% sure how his reaction when we finally meet for the first time by the time he is visiting Jakarta

He is a dreamy guy that probably would never exist in world. 

Beside what i mention earlier in here about Romeo, almost everyday i found a sweet and good thing about him.

He is an amazing, adorable, big heart guy, gentleman, thoughtful and it will be a long list instead of a blog

Looking forward meeting him in person when he is visiting Jakarta. 

Can't wait to see him and spend some quality time 

Friday, 10 March 2017

Kangen Water

Kangen Water

At first i was being skeptical as if consume the water will made a different for my health condition

Yeah i am being skeptical about the product even though there are a lot of testimonial on the internet show after consumed the water, Abracadabra their health problem magically solved

I've try the other product from Kangen Water like Strong Acid, Beauty Water and Strong Kangen. Slowly but sure i felt the difference on my face 

So i gave it a try to consume Kangen Water for daily basis. 

At first week, my stomach feels weird and i am having diarrhea. When i ask the seller about my body reaction after consume it, they said its normal and it's doing the job for cleaning all the toxic in your body.

But Today i finally believe that consume Kangen water really work out for my health condition.

I have a condition for Endometriosis and it's really painful and stressful for me. 

Normally if a girl have a period, usually it only for 7 day or less. But for someone whose diagnosed for Endometriosis like me that would be a different scenario.

in A month my periods time would be more than a weeks, sometimes two weeks and after the divorce it's become worst.

I haven't got my periods for 4 months and today finally got the periods after 4 months not having it.

Alhamdulillah ;)

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Mr Romeo

Alhamdulillah for everything that happens in the past that leads me to know this awesome gentleman.

I never thought that I would feeling like this again. 

Can't stop smiling, my cheek turns to red, laugh again, got big fat smile on my face.

It's quite unique how i know him. 

Let's just said internet help us to meet and get to know each other.

First communication are through private email continue to personal email then change to whatsapp and sometimes message. All though we communicate through all of those communication (Email, Whatsapp and texting)

Besides 6 hours difference, 3-4 years age difference between us, different culture. There's a lot of thing that we both have in common.

He is smart, nice, open minded, cute, have unique sense of humor, charming, gentleman (Yeah chivalry still alive), sweet, romantic, cat person.

Have a sweet and unique way to encourage me to do the very best thing.

Whenever he sense that i am having a hard time over something, he cheer up in his way in intention to make me forget about it

He mention his intention towards me in the future. 

Insya Allah if we're mean to be, i do hoped it will last forever

Good night Mr Romeo

Monday, 27 February 2017


Loathe maybe the extreme way to express my feeling right now but it seem's the right word to express it.

It's started from Facebook post from NS (one of the founder the famous kebab baba Rafi) that's being share by one of my Facebook friends. I make some comment in there and notice's there's a lot of woman who experience (probably not the same but similar to my condition right now). 

In the comment, I've seen comment from everyone express the sympathy and empathy. One post catch my attention and shockingly the ruthless comment are from woman. If the comment came from man, probably would skip it but it's from woman to woman who dealt some dark moment in marriage life.

Totally get it if that sarcasm and cynical comment come from man (although not every man are like that) but when hear the woman give that ruthless comment, i just wished that woman would never experience what she, other woman and what I've been through because i am pretty sure she wouldn't be as brave as anyone who dealt the issue personally

Not looking for a justify or statement that we are in the right side. We don't want people see us as a victim or play victim. HECK NO. 

Yeah we do realize that there's two side for every story. We're not saying that we are right and the other guy are wrong. HECK NO. 

That's why mostly women whose in her position and mine doesn't want to speak up about our condition out loud. Because most people out there thinking the same way like that woman do. 

People like us doesn't need society confirmation that we are right. 

All we need just an understanding and friendly companion knowing that we aren't alone. Don't judge us before you've experienced the same situation

All we want is a true friends, an understanding, friendly companion and reassure that we're not alone, the dark storm won't last forever, there's a beautiful rainbow after all these storm. 

If you can't speak good to others people better stay silent. 

If you don't understand what it's feel like in their situation, just be a decent human being and show a little sympathy & empathy. 

Showing Sympathy and empathy won't hurt anyone in fact it would ease their pain and cheer them up
Oh well, some people are born ruthless and cynical. That's the fact we all should accept. 

We live in society that's think man and woman are equal. but why when thing's like this happen and the woman start to talk out loud to society, most people think's the situation happen because it was the woman's fault. 

Astagfirullah, where's the justice in that. 

So when your husband are cheating from you, it's because you are the awful wife who can't make your husband happy. Because you can't give him kids and happiness. Because you don't prioritize your husband first. If you take care him well enough, he won't be cheating and leave you behind.

Hot flash new for ruthless and cynical people out there, no matter how good the wife treat the husband even the slightness mistake can be huge mistake on him. 

My points is some man and some woman are born jerk and asshole. That's the fact and mostly woman whose being the homewrecker doesn't realize that they hurting other woman for the sake their feeling. Well you can laugh and be happy lovey dove but don't cry come ask forgiveness if one day he'll doing the same thing to you.

I've been in that situation, trying to do everything that i could to make my marriage last but when Allah swt keep showing me it would hurt me more if i insist on keeping the marriage.

Take a look on my situation, dating for 2 years and married for 4 years. The only thing that we don't have are children. Honestly i thought it won't be a big issue. But then again i was naive to think that. 

As soon as we are having 3 years anniversary of our wedding, everything become a huge mess. It hit rock bottom and made me question almost about everything i though we have for each other.

He is doing the most despicable things that i won't ever think that he would do it in the first place : 
  • Cheating on me with 4 women (that's the number of woman i know)
  • Doing something forbidden in Islam like conspiracy with the devil practicing black magic
  • Sold everything we have and have the money to himself and left me with a huge pile of debt
  • Neglect me for almost 2 years and doesn't do what he is supposed to do as husband
  • Unemployed for more than 2 years and make me the bread wiener for both of us 
  • Disrespect towards my family and my parents
  • Made one of his mistress pregnant. Yet he doesn't admit it and apologize until these day
  • To top it all, his marrying the pregnant mistress while he is still married with me and leave me without saying anything at all
So before you experience one of those thing or everything that i mention earlier, don't said that there's two side every story and men suffer too. 

So showing a sympathy and empathy won't make you less human, in fact it make you a decent human being