Exhausted

Exhaust

Lately, I've been overwhelmed with a storm of emotions—happy, sad, angry, confused, exhausted, tired, and, honestly... 

fed up. With everything.

Last night, after a decent video call with my fiancé—who’s not just beautiful on the outside but kind where it counts—I laid my head on my bolster and cried silently.

Not because I don’t trust him. I do. Completely.

But I didn’t want to weigh him down with what I’m carrying.

So instead, I poured all my emotions into the bolster... and pretended it was him holding me.

I know he’d move mountains to make things better if he knew.

But this time, I chose silence.

Having him in my life is a blessing I don’t take lightly.

I talk to myself a lot these days. Some might say I’m weird—maybe even “wacko.”

But I’m not hurting anyone, and honestly, I’ve stopped caring what people think.

I know exactly what I need right now: him... and a big, soul-healing hug.

I don’t know how much longer I can hold all this in.

I’m trying to be strong for everyone.

But who’s being strong for me?

Where does my sanity fit into this?

I need time. For me. Just me.

Hufft.