Divide et impera ala Tante Suri

"Divide et impera"—Latin for "divide and conquer."

Now, how does this strategy relate to Tante Suri? 

It seems she's employing a very personal, and perhaps subtly manipulative, version of it in your romantic life.

The saga began innocently enough, about three or four months ago, when Om Suri, seemingly out of the blue, suggested setting you up with a teacher—based solely on the highly insightful criteria of shared age and single status. 

A straightforward, if somewhat clumsy, matchmaking attempt.

Then came Mr. Traveller, and your announcement to Tante Suri. 

Her initial shock quickly gave way to what appeared to be genuine happiness and excitement. 

But not for long. 

The details you shared about Mr. Traveller seemed to trigger a swift and dramatic shift in her stance.

This shift manifested in a series of rather unbelievable pronouncements:

• "Kamu berani banget sih sama orang luar?" (You're so brave to be with a foreigner) — accompanied by the bizarre parenthetical: (he is eating normal food), as if that somehow mattered.

• "Udah mending sama orang Indonesia." (It's better with an Indonesian) — conveniently ignoring your emphatic NO WAY and your negative experience with your Indonesian ex-husband.

• "Berkaca dari pengalaman sebelumnya, kamu udah pernah gagal." (Looking at your past, you've already failed) — an incredibly insensitive and unnecessary reminder of past pain.

• "Selidikin dulu latar belakangnya, jangan keburu-buru." (Investigate his background first, don’t rush it) — and yet, the motivation behind this advice feels ambiguous: genuine concern or a subtle attempt to discredit him?

• "Pikirin lagi deh, kita maunya happy ending. Iya kalo happy ending, kalau nggak…" (Think it over again, we want a happy ending. Sure, if it ends well, but if not…) — and your internal “Astagfirullah, is it really that hard to just say 'Insha Allah, everything will be alright'?” captures the frustrating absence of faith and optimism.

• "Sambil cari-cari yang lain, jangan cuma fokus sama yang ini." (Keep looking, don’t just focus on him) — and your response, “The hell, I’m the one getting married, not HER,” says it all.

When these direct (and unwelcome) opinions failed to shake your resolve, Tante Suri seemed to pivot to a more subtle, calculated approach.

You’re right to see this new strategy as “very sneaky.”

Honestly? 

She’s leaving me speechless too.