Have You Ever?

The Grass Seems Greener on the Other Side. I Totally Get It.

We often think everyone else’s life is perfect, but we rarely know what they’re really dealing with.

It looks like everyone is happy, living their best life, without any problems or struggles.

And then there’s you, thinking:

"Astagfirullah, I can’t deal with what’s been happening in my life."

"What have I done to deserve this?"

"Why isn’t my life like everyone else’s?"

I get it.

Sometimes, the pain and the problems feel like they’re eating us alive.

Don’t get me wrong—I truly understand.

Every person has their own battles to face.

I'm not writing this to offend anyone or to seek attention.

Honestly, I salute everyone who deals with their issues in their own way.

People have come up to me and said,

"Your life seems so perfect. How do you do it?"

But the truth is—I have my own problems too. 

I just choose not to show a sad face every time you see me.

Right now, I’m at the lowest point of my life.

I don’t feel like doing anything. I have zero motivation.

Have you ever felt like everything in your life is pointless?

Like it’s useless to even chase your dreams?

Like everyone else’s life is going perfectly, and you’re the only one who’s falling apart?

Have you ever asked yourself:

• Why does it feel like fate is against me?

• What did I do to deserve this?

• Why do I feel like I’ll never be happy?

• Why does ending my life seem like the only way out?

Have you ever:

• Lost hope in everything?

• Felt it was useless to get out of bed because your world had already ended?

• Locked yourself in a room for days, avoiding people because you didn’t want their pity?

• Skipped meals and lost your appetite for anything?

• Walked through a supermarket looking for a painless way to die?

• Been surrounded by friends, yet felt completely alone?

• Wondered why your family and friends love you at all?

• Felt disgusted with yourself?

• Thought you were broken beyond repair?

• Asked why misfortune keeps finding its way into your life?

• Felt jealous of loved ones for having what you secretly wish for?

• Thought your destiny, the one Allah gave you, is the worst path possible?

• Believed that happiness and you are strangers that will never meet?

Have you ever:

• Zoned out so hard in public that you found yourself in the wrong place?

• Felt like the world is always in sync for others but always in chaos for you?

• Thought no good thing will ever come your way?

• Felt the world is just a cruel place to live in?

If you’ve answered yes to all of these...

Then do what you feel you must.

I’m not being sarcastic.

I’m not pointing fingers.

This post is about me.

I’ve felt every single one of those things I just wrote.

I am currently at the lowest point in my life.

And yes, the thought of ending it all has crossed my mind more than once.

But here's the thing:

Even in this darkness, I refuse to let it destroy me.

I’m living through my darkest moments, but that doesn’t mean I have to wear sorrow like a uniform.

Please, don’t make your life even darker.

Please, don’t drown in self-pity.

I know it sounds cliché, but…

There’s always a silver lining, even in the worst storm.

No, my life right now isn’t what I wish for.

But I believe this:

Even the darkest storms don’t last forever.

Right now, I may be the most fragile person in the world.

But one day, I’ll walk tall—with pride and a huge, genuine smile on my face.

Bismillah.