Astagfirullah

Astagfirullah…

I whisper it between broken breaths. 

I should have known— The signs were never truly hidden, only buried beneath my hope.

I walked with eyes half-closed, believing in change that never came,  trusting in love that lost its way.

Ya Allah, how did I not see?

Now I stand— shocked, still, with silence louder than a scream.

I don’t know how to carry this pain, don’t know how to hold myself when everything I believed is falling apart.

Ya Allah, Ya Rabb…

You are the Turner of Hearts, the Knower of all secrets.

Strengthen me when I feel weak.

Heal me where no one else can see.

Wrap me in Your mercy, when this world feels too heavy to bear.

Guide me out of this storm and lead me back to peace.

Ameen.