Ya Allah… I’m exhausted.
I’m standing at the edge of something I can’t name anymore — a storm that refuses to end.
I don’t even know how I got here.
Maybe I didn’t fall; maybe I was slowly buried by everything I tried to fix.
Every time I think I’ve finally come up for air, another wave drags me under. It’s relentless.
It’s cruel. And it’s constant.
I keep telling myself, be strong, be patient, this too shall pass.
But, Ya Allah, it’s not passing.
It’s getting heavier.
And I’m scared that I won’t make it through this one.
I’m trying — I swear I’m trying.
Applying for jobs like a machine, pretending to care about things I no longer feel connected to.
I tell people “I’m fine” because the truth would only make them uncomfortable.
But deep down?
I’m barely holding the pieces of myself together.
My heart feels like a battlefield — rage, exhaustion, helplessness, all fighting for control.
I keep asking myself: When does it stop?
When do I get to breathe?
When does life stop testing me like I’m built of steel when I’m just... tired?
Ya Rabb, I need You.
Not later.
Not someday.
Now.
Because I’m on my knees — not in surrender to life, but in desperate hope that You’ll pull me out of this darkness.
I’ve tried being strong on my own, but I’m done pretending I can handle it.
You know what’s in my heart.
You know the chaos I hide behind every forced smile.
You know the nights I stay awake whispering “please, just let tomorrow be lighter.”
Ya Allah, please guide me.
Show me the way out of this mess — the path that leads me back to peace.
Help me silence this constant noise, this ache that refuses to fade.
Because right now, I don’t see the light. I just see the struggle.
And I’m tired of fighting battles I didn’t choose.
Ya Rabb, if this is Your test, please give me strength to endure it.
If it’s Your mercy, please let me see it through the pain.
And if it’s time for change, then please — let it begin.
I need You.
Desperately.
Completely.
Now.
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