Ya Allah Please Help Me

 Ya Allah…

I’m writing this with trembling hands and a heavy, burning chest.

I don’t even know where to begin anymore.

Everything around me feels like it’s collapsing — slowly, painfully, and I’m standing right in the middle of it all, too tired to move, too scared to breathe.

Ya Rabb, I’m exhausted.

I’m trying to hold everything together, trying to act strong, trying to smile and say Alhamdulillah even when my heart is screaming for mercy.

But tonight, I can’t pretend.

Tonight, I’m just a broken servant — raw, weak, and desperate.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

Every time I think I’ve hit the bottom, the ground gives way again, and I fall deeper into this endless pit of confusion and pain.

The world keeps throwing me storms, one after another.

People keep demanding from me, judging me, hurting me — and I keep saying, “It’s okay, I’m fine.”

But Ya Allah, I’m not fine.

I’m drowning in silence.

My prayers feel heavier lately.

The words get stuck in my throat.

Sometimes, I just sit there — staring, whispering Your name, hoping You’ll hear the parts of me that no longer know how to speak.

Ya Rabb, I’m not asking for perfection, or wealth, or miracles.

I’m asking for peace.

Just peace.

A little light in this suffocating darkness.

I need Your mercy, Ya Allah.

I need Your help to get out of this mess that’s consuming me piece by piece.

I’ve tried to fix things my way — and failed miserably.

Now I’m just… done pretending I can do this on my own.

The pain has turned into anger sometimes — not at You, Ya Rabb,

but at myself, at the world, at the cruelty of how things unfold.

I hate that I feel this weak.

I hate that I keep breaking.

I hate that I still care so much about people who never cared back.

But even through this darkness, I know —

You’re still here.

Watching. Listening.

Waiting for me to truly surrender.

So here I am.

No pride left. No excuses. No fake smiles.

Just me, Ya Allah.

A sinner. A survivor. A soul that’s trying so hard not to shatter.

Please, Ya Rabb…

Pull me out of this.

Show me a way out.

Because if You don’t — I don’t know if I can survive another wave.

You are the only one who knows how much it hurts.

How tired I am of pretending.

How heavy it is to wake up every day and face the same battles.

Please, Ya Allah.

I’m begging You.

Help me find peace.

Help me find me again.