Bawel Pendiam

An Indonesian woman, 43 years young, with a life story full of plot twists — the kind that could fill a novel. She's still on her journey, still learning, still evolving. Through every challenge life throws her way, she stands back up, stronger and more determined. She may not have it all figured out (yet), but one thing's for sure: whatever comes her way, she’ll conquer it with grit, grace, and a fire that refuses to burn out.

Monday, 6 October 2025

Ya Allah, I am at the Edge

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  Ya Allah… I’m at the edge. Every breath feels like glass, every day another wound I have to swallow. They say “be patient” — as if pati...

When Faith Tremble (Unfiltered)

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Ya Allah… tonight I’m not whispering, I’m roaring into the dark. My heart feels like glass, splintered, each breath slicing me open. Peopl...

When Faith Trembles

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 Ya Allah… I’m exhausted. I’m standing at the edge of something I can’t name anymore — a storm that refuses to end.  I don’t even know how ...

And Still, I Rise in the Storm

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 There comes a point where the tears run dry. Where even your grief gets tired of echoing inside your chest. I reached that point — not in...

The First Flicker of Calm

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 It happened quietly. No thunder. No revelation. No sudden “everything makes sense” moment. Just… silence. A silence that didn’t hurt thi...

Ya Rabb

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Last night, I broke. Not just emotionally — spiritually. I screamed into the silence of my room, my tears soaking the prayer mat that has ...

Ya Allah Please Help Me

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 Ya Allah… I’m writing this with trembling hands and a heavy, burning chest. I don’t even know where to begin anymore. Everything around ...
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