Monday, 27 February 2017

Loathe

Loathe maybe the extreme way to express my feeling right now but it seem's the right word to express it.

It's started from Facebook post from NS (one of the founder the famous kebab baba Rafi) that's being share by one of my Facebook friends. I make some comment in there and notice's there's a lot of woman who experience (probably not the same but similar to my condition right now). 

In the comment, I've seen comment from everyone express the sympathy and empathy. One post catch my attention and shockingly the ruthless comment are from woman. If the comment came from man, probably would skip it but it's from woman to woman who dealt some dark moment in marriage life.

Totally get it if that sarcasm and cynical comment come from man (although not every man are like that) but when hear the woman give that ruthless comment, i just wished that woman would never experience what she, other woman and what I've been through because i am pretty sure she wouldn't be as brave as anyone who dealt the issue personally

Not looking for a justify or statement that we are in the right side. We don't want people see us as a victim or play victim. HECK NO. 

Yeah we do realize that there's two side for every story. We're not saying that we are right and the other guy are wrong. HECK NO. 

That's why mostly women whose in her position and mine doesn't want to speak up about our condition out loud. Because most people out there thinking the same way like that woman do. 

People like us doesn't need society confirmation that we are right. 

All we need just an understanding and friendly companion knowing that we aren't alone. Don't judge us before you've experienced the same situation

All we want is a true friends, an understanding, friendly companion and reassure that we're not alone, the dark storm won't last forever, there's a beautiful rainbow after all these storm. 

If you can't speak good to others people better stay silent. 

If you don't understand what it's feel like in their situation, just be a decent human being and show a little sympathy & empathy. 

Showing Sympathy and empathy won't hurt anyone in fact it would ease their pain and cheer them up
 
Oh well, some people are born ruthless and cynical. That's the fact we all should accept. 

We live in society that's think man and woman are equal. but why when thing's like this happen and the woman start to talk out loud to society, most people think's the situation happen because it was the woman's fault. 

Astagfirullah, where's the justice in that. 

So when your husband are cheating from you, it's because you are the awful wife who can't make your husband happy. Because you can't give him kids and happiness. Because you don't prioritize your husband first. If you take care him well enough, he won't be cheating and leave you behind.

Hot flash new for ruthless and cynical people out there, no matter how good the wife treat the husband even the slightness mistake can be huge mistake on him. 

My points is some man and some woman are born jerk and asshole. That's the fact and mostly woman whose being the homewrecker doesn't realize that they hurting other woman for the sake their feeling. Well you can laugh and be happy lovey dove but don't cry come ask forgiveness if one day he'll doing the same thing to you.

I've been in that situation, trying to do everything that i could to make my marriage last but when Allah swt keep showing me it would hurt me more if i insist on keeping the marriage.

Take a look on my situation, dating for 2 years and married for 4 years. The only thing that we don't have are children. Honestly i thought it won't be a big issue. But then again i was naive to think that. 

As soon as we are having 3 years anniversary of our wedding, everything become a huge mess. It hit rock bottom and made me question almost about everything i though we have for each other.

He is doing the most despicable things that i won't ever think that he would do it in the first place : 
  • Cheating on me with 4 women (that's the number of woman i know)
  • Doing something forbidden in Islam like conspiracy with the devil practicing black magic
  • Sold everything we have and have the money to himself and left me with a huge pile of debt
  • Neglect me for almost 2 years and doesn't do what he is supposed to do as husband
  • Unemployed for more than 2 years and make me the bread wiener for both of us 
  • Disrespect towards my family and my parents
  • Made one of his mistress pregnant. Yet he doesn't admit it and apologize until these day
  • To top it all, his marrying the pregnant mistress while he is still married with me and leave me without saying anything at all
So before you experience one of those thing or everything that i mention earlier, don't said that there's two side every story and men suffer too. 

So showing a sympathy and empathy won't make you less human, in fact it make you a decent human being