Good Bye 2016

Good Bye 2016

A lot of things happen in 2016. It's been hell of ride for year 2016

Well there's so much thing happening in 2016. Experience the whole package thing when you thought that you already have everything in your life. When you think that your life are perfect and all but it's just another stupid show called fake and it's just staged out for someone benefit.

The whole package which make you feel everything from things like : 

• Numbness because you can't feeling anything not even happiness or sadness 
• Start to look everything differently from new perspective
• Trust hunch or instinct when you've sense something wrong it's happening in your life
• Differentiate which one a real friend and which one isn't your friend
• Accept the fact that not everyone else around you are your real friend
• Love can't always conquer everything in real life 
• Someone you love dearly might not having same vision about life 
• Heartbreaking moment that keep repeating every single day
• Painful enough realized that your life become horrific nightmare
• Good bye not always that bad. Good bye sometime could means brand new journey awaits for you
• Better to get out from shabby, inclement and wretched relationship instead of staying just because you've care more about other people opinion rather than your own happiness
• Glad knowing that you will always have some group full of people whom you call best friend for life that will always be there for you
• Sometimes best experience about loyalty is when someone stand beside you even the situation are wretched and nothing seems work well 
• Over time people will change. Sadly enough when your best friend become stranger and distant
• Sometimes people surprise you. As easily best friend become stranger and it's sure easily that stranger become best friend for life.
• Betrayal are painful enough and can change optimistic person turn into pessimistic person in a day
• When you've got betrayal by someone you's least expected and dearly, you've lost trust and faith for everyone who genuinely wants the best thing for you. 
• Don't bother to look out for someone who doesn't really care about you
• Stop being so hard on yourself and don't blame yourself for whatever happen in your life
• Starting all over again can be frightening and scary. Prepare yourself for your next wonderful journey
• Excruciating, surprising, life changing, friendship, roller coaster emotional  experience

So GOOD BYE 2016. Thank You For all the lesson 

I AM READY FOR 2017

Time to Move on

Damn right it's about time to move on

It's almost 7 month since the judge verdict that says my marriage are over for good. 

Already done mostly all the mourn moment like these thing (had to admit that itsn't my best moment)

• Don't know exactly how many night I've cried myself until i sleep
• Hard enough to put a big fat smile in my face after that hurricane storm in my life
• Hard enough just to wake up every morning and had to pretend that i am still curious and excited about what the future holds for me
• Hard to pretend that hurricane storm never bother me in anymore
• Hard enough to pretend in front of everyone who know me that i am totally fine and already get over it
• Hard enough for me to put a big fat smile in my face every damn time i am around them (family and best friend) simply because i don't want them to feel sorry or worry about me anymore
• Desperately trying to hide the fact that i don't have any desire left to fulfill all of my dream comes true
• Simple thing like get out of bed or get out of the house just doesn't interested me anymore 
• I love food badly but right now all my favorite food are plain and bored. Basically i just lost interest and appetite on food (sometimes i skip breakfast,lunch and dinner). 
• Suddenly going out from home is a torture and can't wait go back home just to stay in my room
• Lock myself in rooms for unlimited days
• Don't interested anymore about socialized with new people because i don't want them to felt sorry about my condition
• Feeling bitter about life mostly about love, relationship and marriage kinda stuff
• Felt like damaged good
• Start to hate myself more than before
• Being too damn careful when someone new show interest on me
• I made a vow about being single for life
• Social event is just too stressful because i don't want anyone to ask the unnecessary question 
• Felt lonely even when i am in the most crowded place in earth
• Felt that i wasn't good enough for anyone and i don't deserve to be happy

It's already 7 month and it's about time to MOVE ON

Stop overthinking and regret about the past because there's nothing i can do to change the past

CLOSED THAT DOOR FOR GOOD

BISMILLAH ;)