Saturday, 27 February 2010

Choices


Life is all about choices

sometimes we have to choose and make a decision about something that we hate the most but we should do it no matter what.

Life is all about choice and choose which direction we will go.

The choice is like two side of coin so there are good side and bad side.

The good side and the bad side its the effect for whatever decision we will take.

No matter whatever the decision that we take, there will be a consequence that we need to face it.

Don't blame the decision or the choice that we have to take, just consider it as a learning process that will always continue for the rest of our life

Can't say that nobody get hurt for the decision that we make but still we have to deal with it..

If somebody get hurt by our decision and really piss with us, we just can't blame that person for piss or angry or mad with us.

It's only a matter of time, that person will figure out someday that the decision was the best thing for both side

When its never mean to be for the first place, no matter how hard we try to make it work, sooner or later time will show us that was never mean to be.

Sorry for hurting you and zillion thanks for all the sacrifice you done to me.

No body ever love me that much like the way you do.

It's not that i don't love you anymore.

I still love you and will always love you.

Each moment that we spent together, I'll keep that memory in my heart and cherish it forever.

It's not that my feeling for you are change or gone but if i have to choose between you and my parent, i am really sorry to said that i had to choose them.

It's not that i stop loving you, it's just me being realistic that this love are supposed to end because i realize i can't have a relationship without their support.

I am sorry for leaving you behind like this.

I am sorry for choose to leaving you like this.

I wish i had a better option and then i will choose it.

Sorry for leaving you like this although i already promise not leave you behind.

I am sorry for everything i done.

I am sure that now you wish that you never meet me in the first place rather than meet me and now hurt by me.

If you asked me whats wrong with you?

My answer would be : There's nothing wrong about us. Hate that i am the bad guy now whose trying to make you leave me.

If i insist of keeping you with me, I'll be more guilty because i can't make our dream happen because them come in the way

Please forgive me and zillion thanks for everything

I know that you might hate me because of this but i really hope that you understand why i make this kinda decision

I am so sorry for leaving you.

I am sorry

I am really really sorry

-Good Bye-

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Menunggu wisuda


Setelah lulus ternyata masih panjang perjuangan untuk dapatin satu lembar pengukuhan itu hiks

Begitu juga sama wisuda dan ngurus segala kelengkapan administrasinya.. huyuh

huhuhu

Wisuda tinggal menghitung hari, segala kelengkapan administrasi kudu diurus sampai beres hingga akhirnya hari wisuda tiba...

Selanjutnya berusaha mewujudkan segala mimpi yang belum terwujud.

Bismillah.....

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

hmfttttttttttttttttttt

Kulihat taman bunga yang terbentang luas dihadapan 


Berbagai macam bunga hadir disana menambah semerbak harumnya taman



Tak hanya bunga tapi ada juga kupu-kupu, kumbang, lebah dan kawan-kawan



Padang bunga yang terhampar dihadapan tapi mengapa yang terlihat adalah padang pasir yang tak berujung, bahkan kupu-kupu, lebah, kumbang, dan kawan-kawannya pun segan untuk sekadar bersantai disana



Oase yang tampak dari kejauhan yang seakan mampu mengatasi kekeringan di padang pasir kemudian berubah menjadi sekumpulan fatamorgana yang teramat menyakitkan

Berlari kesana kemari seolah ingin membuktikan bahwa ada segerombolan pengembara yang kebetulan melintas di padang pasir

Ketika melihat segerombolan pengembara dari kejauhan, tetapi ketika semakin dekat semakin nyata bahwa itu hanyalah pantulan dari bayangan yang tak nyata

Padang bunga yang terhampar dihadapan tetapi mengapa padang pasir yang terlihat dimata 

Apakah fatamorgana ataukah ilusi sesaat?

Ketika akhirnya bertemu segerombolan pengembara dan mengajukan pertanyaan apakah ini padang bunga ataukah padang pasir?

Gerombolan pengembara berkata maafkan kami karena apa yang sebenarnya terhampar di hadapan kisanak adalah padang pasir tak berujung

Sungguh jauh perjalanan yang harus kisanak tempuh untuk mencapai padang bunga

Tetapi bila kisanak telah sampai disana, perjuangan panjangmu untuk mencapai padang bunga menjadi sangat manis

Oase yang kisanak liat dari kejauhan itu hanyalah ilusi dan fatamorgana

Maafkan kami kisanak jika jawaban yang diberikan membuat kisanak nelangsa tapi kami hanya ingin agar kisanak berjuang lebih dan lebih giat lagi

Kisanak hanya menghela nafas dan berkata : berapa lamakah perjalanan ke padang bunga? 

Apa yang nanti akan kutemui sepanjang perjalanan?

Rintangan apa yang akan menghadang selama perjalanan menuju padang bunga?

Apa yang akan kutemui nanti di padang bunga?

Apakah aku akan menemui fatamorgana dan ilusi sepanjang perjalanan?

Apakah perjuangan menuju padang bunga sepadan dengan hasil akhir yang kelak kudapat?

Sang pengembara hanya berkata : maafkan kami kisanak, karena pertanyaan kisanak tidak dapat kami jawab...

Kisanak sendiri yang harus menjalaninya dan kisanak sendiri yang kelak akan memetik buah perjuangan kisanak...

Selamat berjuang kisanak....

Semoga beruntung....

Gerombolan pengembara kemudian pergi meninggalkan kisanak yang harus menempuh perjalanan panjang menuju padang bunga....

Entah apa yang akan terjadi nantinya...

Kisanak bertekad bulat akan berjuang sekuat tenaga demi hasil akhir...

Apapun hasil akhirnya, aku yakin bahwa semua sudah tersurat untukku *batin kisanak*

Lost


Lost....

Lost in some place that couldn't found it on the map....

Suddenly get stuck in some familiar old habit....

Gosh....

Never thought this disease would come back...

Why is that disturbing disease come back without giving announcement first?

Why that disease suddenly pop up out of nowhere?

What happen?

Why that disease back again?

Why?

What i should do with that disturbing disease?

Gosh....

Don't like being the bad person and criminal stuff but why that disease has to come back right now when i thought that disturbing disease will never ever come back....

I've heard and acknowledge that honesty are the right thing to do even that will be painful enough....

What should i do with that annoying disease.....

Ya Allah, please give me the sign, the clue, the answer for this...

Apapun yang akan terjadi (entah itu pahit, asam, manis, buruk, asin, pedas), insya allah aku akan siap menanggung konsekuensinya....

Bismillah

Monday, 8 February 2010

Broken Hearted


Artist : Beyonce
Lirik Lagu : Beyonce - Broken-Hearted Girl Lyrics

Beyonce - Broken-Hearted Girl Lyrics

You're everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could have been
But still, you live inside of me, so tell me how is that?

You're the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you're the only one
And though there are times when I hate you

'Cause I can't erase
The times that you hurt me and put tears on my face
And even now, while I hate you, it pains me to say

I know I'll be there at the end of the day
I don't wanna be without you, babe
I don't want a broken heart

Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no

I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl

No, no, no broken-hearted girl
There's something that I feel I need to say
But up til' now I've always been afraid that you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out

You say you've got the most respect for me
But, sometimes I feel you're not deserving of me
And still, you're in my heart
But you're the only one

And yes, there are times when I hate you, but I don't complain
'Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away
Oh, but now I don't hate you

I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day
I don't wanna be without you, babe
I don't want a broken heart

Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no

I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl

No, no, no broken-hearted girl
Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be, ooh
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me, yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid, my broken heart is free to spread my wings and fly away, away with you....

I don't wanna be without my baby
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without my baby

I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl

No, no, no broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Akhir-akhir ini jadi sering banget dengerin lagu ini... *ngga ngerti juga kenapa bisa begitu*

I love this song a lot, seolah segala curahan dan jeritan hati yang selama ini tersembunyi perlahan terkuak ke permukaan *bahasanya makin serem*

Penyakit lama yang dah ngga pernah kambuh tapi sekarang mendadak kambuh *ngga ngerti juga kenapa malah kambuh sekarang*

Entah kenapa dan mengapa harus kambuh kembali...

Right now, there's nothing i can do to make this thing go away...

I hate this kinda feeling and why its keep coming back *hmfftttttttt*

I am very grateful for everything that happen in my life lately but somehow deep down inside of me there's something missing, sadly i just can't figure it out yet....

Ya Allah, Please give me the answer that I've been dying to search for...

Apapun jawabannya, petunjuk dan pertandanya, ka yakin kalo itu semua adalah yang terbaik buat dika

Manusia boleh berencana tetapi hasil akhir ada ditangan Allah swt

Apapun yang terjadi, ka harus siap dengan segala konsekuensinya

Bismillah